Connecting Through Chaos: Why Every Mom Needs a Support Network

Support

Let me start off by saying, having a child is a life changing event. You will not only find new things about yourself, your spouse, your family and friends. Having a support system in place can truly make a huge difference through postpartum and your motherhood journey. If you do not have a strong support system in person, it can be helpful to find some online groups for support and connection. There are many platforms and groups you can join varying in different niches and regions. I personally had a wonderful support system but still joined some online mom groups to connect with other moms in the same position I was. These were wonderful to be able to share stories, connect and support others. 

Online Mom Groups

Online mom groups can be a true gift however I urge you to use these with caution for a few very important reasons. One thing is that EVERYONE is different, there is not a single person in the same exact position as you. You can find similarities but there will ALWAYS be some differences. Since everyone is in a different situation, remember what works for one mom may not work for you. Yes, what works for her may work for you and that is wonderful. But if something is suggested and it does not work, remember… You are not doing anything wrong, your situation is simply different. For example: Your baby is colicky and you are struggling to get them to sleep at night.  You ask other moms for any solutions… A mom suggests gripe water. You try the gripe water and it does not work. It is not you, the gripe water or your baby. It is simply something that worked for them and not you and you can move on to trying other things.

Drama

Unfortunately in large groups of women there is also bound to be some type of drama. Even if it is not intended, it can happen with large groups and different opinions. One way you can avoid this is simply agreeing to disagree with others. It is okay to not agree with everyone, it is what makes us all different. If you see someone with a different opinion, simply acknowledge it and move on. There is no need to argue or try to persuade them otherwise. If you do feel like chatting with them, do it with the mindset of helping them. Maybe offer some resources and information for them to read. If they are not interested then it's okay to just carry on with your day. 

Our babies

In mom groups we all want to share how amazing our babies are and that is wonderful. When reading these posts though, remember that everyone's life and child is different. If one baby is crawling and yours is not, that's okay. All children will develop differently. What one baby does now, yours may be working on a different skill even if you can’t physically see it. It can be hard but try to avoid comparing your baby and your life to everyone else's. This goes back to the idea that everyone is different so try to take things with a grain of salt.

Trust your instincts

At the end of the day I always say, a mother knows best. Trust your gut instincts and do what is best for you. If that means deleting the mom groups THEN DO IT. I’ve been there, newly postpartum, I had such bad anxiety at night and would scroll the mom groups and just end up with more anxiety. I ended up unfollowing them and just searching for them when I wanted to look or ask a question. This way I had more control over what I did and didn’t see and when. Following your instincts and doing what is best for you is always a priority. If you have all the support you need around you and don’t feel the need to join any groups, then don’t. Whatever you choose to do, you are a great mama and doing a great job!